The night off
by hellsing101
Summary: Sir Integra has given Alucard and seras the night off but what has Alucard got planned? Read to find out! Chapter 5 now up ! Sorry about the previous mistake! Please enjoy reading! AXS pairing! some OOC.
1. The good news!

**This is my second fanfic story but my first Hellsing one. Reviews welcomed including flames. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing or it's character.**

Integra waited in her office for her pet vampire. She had called for him nearly two minutes ago and was beginning to wonder why he wasn't here. "Blast that bloody vampire!"

"Is there a problem, my master?" Integra jumped at his sudden appearance through the wall. No matter how many times he did it, he would always surprise her. "Alucard, where have you been? I called you nearly three minutes ago!"

"I was with the police girl."

"Well next time I call you, you come straight away, understand!"

"Did you call me to tell me off, or do you want something?" She was slightly taken back by his response. Alucard never spoke so bluntly and straight to the point. He would always make a puzzle out of anything he said but for some reason he seemed much calmer today. "are you alright Alucard?" She asked, curiosity written all over her face. He looked at her strangely and before he could reply she continued, " It's just your not yourself today. You seem calmer that usual." His usual grin appeared on his face.

He looked away for a moment before returning his gaze to her. "It must be police girl's doing. Besides, you never answered my question, is there anything you want?" She decided to drop the topic. She wasn't in the mood to be questioning Alucard, it would only agitate her and make her loose her temper.

"I intended to call you here to inform you that you and miss Victoria may have the night off as there are no ghoul or freak attacks." A spark lit up in his eyes as hundreds of ideas of what he and police girl could do. Before he could plan anything Integra's voice woke him out of his fantasies and brought him back to reality.

"I'm warning you Alucard, I don't want any reports back about you killing anyone or "playing" at the sakes of people sanity. One thing happens and I swear you'll with you were dead." All she got in response was a nod from Alucard. She watched him bow and disappear into the darkness again but, what she didn't was the insane grin on Alucard's face. She didn't know what he was thinking but deep down inside she didn't want to know.

Back in the basement Alucard was getting ready in his room. He was tidying himself up before he left to tell his fledgling she had the night off. "Well this should be a special night." he said to no-one as he left his room to tell Seras.

Seras was doing her hair. She was getting ready for whatever mission she was given. She didn't like doing missions but it was one of the only times she wasn't bored. She would always look foreword to spending time with her master. She could never understand him though, he would look miserable until he had an insane idea which would usually get her into trouble with sir Integra, but she didn't really mind. What bothered her was the fact that her master would only have fun at someone else's sake. Why couldn't he have fun doing normal things like talk, play cards or something. At that moment she saw her master come through the ceiling. "Oh no." He had that look on his face which says "I want to do something devious."

"What are you doing, Police Girl?" the words sounded cold but she just continued none the less. She was used to him by now, it was just the way he was. "I', getting ready to go to the briefing to find out what my missions are."

"Well, it's pointless because you aren't on duty today. Our master says we have the night off." He continued but no before showing his grin and bearing his teeth as his did so. " that means we have the whole night together." He finished with a snicker and stood up.

"we?" Seras asked still not believing what she heard.

"Yes police girl, we, is there a problem?" he asked while lifting an eyebrow and staring at her.

"No but the whole night together and sir Integra said this?"

"Yes, Police girl. Now get out of your uniform and into something more comfortable." He said as her turned to leave. If she wasn't for the fact she was already pale, you would have thought the was dead after Alucard spoke. "More comfortable? We aren't doing anything we're not meant to do are we, master?" She asked with a slight fear in her voice.

"I haven't decided yet but the night is young. Hurry up and meet me in my room in five minutes, and don't be late. We have too much to do in so little time." He told her with that same twinkle in his eye as he did in Integra's office and left. Seras was still taken back with what he said. Suddenly reality slapped her in the face and reminded her she had only five minutes to get ready!

She rushed through her wardrobe to find something to wear. She finally decided on a short black skirt with red leggings and a V-neck red top. She wore her usual boots as they were most comfortable. She took the bobble out of her hair and scrunched it with some moose so that it could hang freely. She left her room and silently made her way down to her master's room. She gently knocked on the door and wait patiently for a come in. After a moment of silence the door opened slightly letting her know to come in.

She warily entered the room constantly searching for her master and the light switch. She felt a chill go up her spine as if she was being watched. She swerved around to see her master in his usual clothes with a blood pack in his hand. He had his sunglasses on so she couldn't see his but she knew he was watching her. She heard him laugh to himself as he lifted himself out of this chair. "Well, well, Police girl. Are you looking lovely this evening." He said as his glasses slid down his nose showing half his eyes.

"Thank you master. What are we doing tonight?" she asked quickly changing the subject. "Well aren't we suddenly eager to get going. Lucky for you I have everything planned." He did his trademark grin before leading her to the door and holding it open for her. "I don't like where this is going" she muttered to herself as he closed the door behind her.

**Well that's it for now. Just Two things.**

**1. If you want me to continue.**

**2. I have some idea's about what I want to make them do but and idea's are welcomed! Again feel free to flame as it may help me.**

**I'll check backin a couple of hors to see if anyone wants me to continue. If yes i'll write another chapter. I try to make every chapter at least 1000 words but can't guarantee. Well thanks for reading!**


	2. victim 1 Poor Walter!

**Hi again! This is the next chapter of The Night off. It didn't go very well as I had writers block but I said if I had two reviews I would write another. Well here it is. Good Luck and enjoy!**

Alucard followed Seras all the way up to the stairs constantly keeping his gaze on her. Suddenly she turned around causing the pair to bump against each other. "Master, why are you watching me?" Seras asked with annoyance ringing through her voice.

"Is it a crime to want to protect you and keep watch over you?" He asked with gentle eyes showing hurt. This made Seras feel terrible for being so harsh on him. "Well no master but-"Well there's no problem then. Now hurry up, police girl, we haven't got all night!" He said quickly going back to his normal self. _Always so easy to manipulate_ Alucard thought to himself as he contained his snicker.

They reached the top of the stairs and entered the huge mall. "Master, what are you planning? You have that grin you get when you get excited." Seras felt the gaze of her master on her.

"Well, police girl, I just thought we could just spend sometime together."

"Really!?" She asked as she got excited.

"No. Really Police girl, it's like you don't know me at all!" Seras hung her head down in defeat. He was right after all. It was unlike Alucard to be in "I want to just talk" mood. In fact that never happened._ I can't wait to see what he's going to make me do! _She thought without remembering Alucard can hear her thoughts. "Well Police girl, as you're so eager to get going you can get some items for me."

"What items?" she replied with a look of complete confusion on her face.

"All I need you to get for me is sticky tape."

"Sticky tape? What for!"

"You'll find out soon, Police girl now go! Meet me in Walter's kitchen in 5 minutes and don't fail me or else..." he asked disappearing in to the wall. Seras gulped. "Or else what?" she asked to thin air but wishing someone was with her.

4 minutes later.

Seras arrived in Walter's kitchen one minute early so that she would never know what the "or else" was. When she entered she saw Alucard sitting next to the table which was covered in toilet rolls.

"Master! What are those for!?" She asked pointing at the several heaps of toilet rolls.

"There for us police girl." He said calmly. Seras looked at her master suspiciously before giving her master the sticky tape. As she handed it to him though he shook his head. "I don't need that now, Police girl."

"Then why did you send me to go get it then master!"

"Because you would have stopped me from getting these." he said while pointing to the toilet rolls. "Now pick them up and move them around the place. Put them where they can be hit easily."

"Hit easily?" She asked. If she wasn't confused before she was now but, Seras always did as she was told and spread the toilet rolls out. It was then she noticed the big tub in the middle of the floor. The markings on it were rubbed of so she couldn't read what it was. "Master what are we doing?"

"What do you mean Police girl?" He asked raising an eyebrow at her.

"Well what I mean is what are we doing? I assumed we're going to Tepee Walter's kitchen." She said in a drone. Alucard scoffed at the idea.

"Really Police girl! Tepee this whole kitchen by hand! You're madder than me!"

"Exactly that's what I thought when-wait-what do you mean by hand?" She looked to her master to see him grinning.

"We're vampires Police girl. We don't do things the human way, we do them in the worst way! Now go and stand outside the door." He pointed to the exit with one finger.

"But-" He quickly turned his head to face her and gave her a glare which could only mean "no buts!" So she turned and went out with worry all through her. As she was leaving though she saw her master lift the lid and put what looked like a grenade into it. Suddenly Alucard disappeared only to re-appear behind and pull her out of the room with great force. Out of nowhere came a loud BANG! As a white liquid shot out the door.

"Master! What was that!?" she heard a click and saw her master loading his gun.

"Well Police girl, I thought you would have worked it out by now." He turned to face the kitchen and aimed his gun. Seras covered her ears as bullets were fired. She ran to his side by the door and looked in the kitchen with a gaping mouth making her resemble a fish. "Well, I must say I have done a splendid job at re-decorating the kitchen, wouldn't you agree Police girl?" He turned to her to see a very shocked police girl still gaping at the newly "decorated" room. "What's wrong? You don't like it?" All Seras could do was stare in shock.

"Master, Walter's going to kill you!"

"Me? US you mean."

She continued to gaze at the room instead of listening to what Alucard said. The room was now covered in tissue which was held on by glue. _So that's what that white stuff was_ Seras thought. She couldn't believe her eyes, there was still tissue floating in the air from where Alucard had shot the toilet rolls and made them explode. "Do you think he'll like it?" Asked Alucard with the biggest grin on his face. At that point Seras was at boiling point. "Are you bloody mad?! Walter's going to be here in ten minutes to make Sir Integra her nine o'clock tea and he's going to see this! He's going to come after us, chop us into little bits, then he's going to tell Sir Integra who's going to shoot us with her pistol, scream at us until we chop our ears off and then lock us in the basement till the end of time!" She stopped screaming and began to pant after her mad rant.

"At least I won't be alone." He replied with a smile. "But really, is that what you think will happen? I think you're exaggerating...Allot" He said in a cool manner as if nothing was wrong. At that moment Walter entered the room with a tray and tea cup. He took one step in to the room and dropped everything. As a smash was heard so were a number of curses yelled so loudly it would wake up hell.

"ALUCARD!"

"I'm by her Walter, no need to shout."

"What did you do!?"

"I re-decorated your kitchen, it was a drag but now it's pure white!" He replied with an accomplished look on his face.

"You...You...You…"

"What's wrong, don't like it? Tell it to my master then." He turned on his heel and started to leave waving a hand for Seras to follow.

"Alucard!" Walter screamed at him.

"What?" As he turned his face turned even paler when he saw Alucard with the frying pan.

"I'm going to get you and I'm going to make you wish you **could** die!"

He began to dart towards Alucard.

"I think we should go!" Alucard hastily said as he pulled Seras through a portal in the wall.

"Alucard I swear to God I'm going to get you for this!" Walter screamed to the wall Alucard and Seras went through.

**I promise the next chapter will be better! Again I had writers block and all my ideas disappeared. Please review as I'm interested in your opinion and I'll write another chapter (a better one hopefully) if I get at least one positive comment in the reviews. Also feel free to give a suggestion as to what you would like to see them do next! Also I'll try to keep making the chapters 1000 words or more!**


	3. Victim 2 Police girl ?

**Hi guys! I'm back with a new chapter! Sorry it took so long but I've been getting ready for school and I went to Oakwood Park with my family as well! This chapter has a bit of fluff and lemon but nothing terrible. I felt I had to write this as I had updated for a good few days. But before I you read my newest chapter I would just like to thank the following people for reviewing as I really appreciate it.**

**Matoska: Thank you very much for your lovely comments and being my first reviewer! They are a joy to read and push me to add more chapters!**

**SetoxxKaibasxxMine: Thank you as well! Your reviews made me smile and also made me want to continue! **

**Anonymous Psychofan: I really liked you comment it was funny and inspirational.**

**Eagle-Black: Again thank you! I'm still thinking up things for Alucard to do so that they can cause more problems but I'm welcoming any ideas!**

**Riddlesnryhmes: Thank you for your review as it let me know I was doing well!**

**darkbangle: Thanks for the review and I agree with you, Alucard is evil but that's why everyone loves him!**

Alucard and Seras walked down the corridors of the Hellsing manor. Seras suddenly stopped causing Alucard to also stop and stare at her.

"Master, what are we doing?" Alucard looked at her astounded at what she had asked.

"Well, I hear that it's called walking, it's what things do when they want to get somewhere." He replied sarcastically.

"I didn't mean it like that!" She replied angrily at his sarcasm. "I mean what are we doing tonight? We've pissed Walter off and now he's after us with the frying pan of doom wishing you weren't already dead so he could be the cause of it, not to mention he's after me too because of your stupid idea to Tepee his bloody kitchen!" She was now screaming knowing very well it was aggravating him.

"Are you done?" He asked showing his annoyance.

"No! Because now were wandering around hopelessly without anything to do!" She stopped for a brief moment before see the smirk upon his face. "Oh bloody hell no master! I am NOT doing anything else tonight! If I stay with you I have a feeling no one is going to like us anymore." She was nearly finished but had to add "Not that they don't already." under her breath hoping he wouldn't hear it but felt she had to say it.

"Really Police girl, why do you care about those humans? There worthless to us! Nothing but food! Yet you seem to care about what they think, I will never understand." He seemed quiet annoyed while expressing his small tirade. Seras was just about to explain why she did care so he could understand but before she could start he could see it coming and quickly added "And I don't wish to understand. It's the reason your weak." He said coldly. At this point Seras's blood was raging and Alucard knew it! _Perfect! She's going for the bait!_ He thought as she was about to explode.

"Who the hell do you think you are!? And don't even reply to that! You may be my master but that doesn't give you an excuse to talk to me like that! I'm not bloody weak either! Unlike you, I like the small part of me which is humane!" At this point she stopped. She just glared at Alucard. _What the hell!? He's laughing! _Indeed. She hadn't noticed it when she was having her tantrum but she did begin to feel her anger rise. "WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!?" She was now screeching which only made him laugh more. This was really beginning to frustrate Seras now and it was showing. Then Alucard spoke making her jump.

"I love it when you get mad!" He said through his dark chuckles.

"What! This isn't a joke master!" She was really angry at him now for not taking the situation seriously.

"I know that, Police girl. All I mean is that you are simply divine when you are angry. It seems to bring out the real vampire within you!" He said a twinkle in his eyes. Seras knew this twinkle well, whenever it appeared in his eyes he was up to something and that wasn't good.

"Master, what do you mean?" There was a slight hint of worry showing in her voice. Alucard was walking towards her.

"What I mean, Police girl, is that I love it when you get worked up and flustered, it, how to put it, attracts me to you." At this Seras stumbled back at his reply. _Brilliant, my plan is working _Alucard thought while continuing on "What's wrong, Seras?" He asked adding velvet to his voice.

"Master! You called me by my name!" He chuckled at her reaction he stepped forward again coming just inches away from her face. He whispered just loud enough so she could hear "I know." With that he pushed her backwards through a portal he had made while distracting her.

Seras landed with a hard thump on the floor. She took the moment of time on the floor to look at her surroundings. _I'm in master's room!_ She thought. "Yes, Seras." Alucard said in a husky voice as he came through the portal. Before Seras could stand Alucard had already got on top of her stopping her from proceeding.

"Master, what are you doing!?" Panic in her voice was clearly visible. Alucard just laughed at Seras as she attempted to push him off him.

"If you drank your blood Seras you would be able to get out of this, but because you refused, you fail." Once finishing his sentence he pinned her arms above her head had straddled her legs with his own. Alucard just laughed at the look on her face. She looked like a little girl who had just had her ice cream taken off her. Seras continued to pull.

"Master! Let me go!" Seras began to shout again but Alucard just continued to laugh. "MASTER! LET ME GO NOW OR-" before she could finish Alucard had interrupted her by leaning in and catching her lips in an aggressive kiss. Seras just blinked as Alucard began to force his entry. He gained it easily as Seras, who was taken back, wasn't paying attention as she was still taking in what he had just done. As Alucard pulled back he heard a gasp.

"Or _what_?" he added emphasis to the "what" part. Seras just stared at him. Alucard suddenly picked her up by her arms and forced her against the wall pinning her to it. He knew that if her heart could beat it would be beating wildly as her cheats was heaving up and down at a light sweat appeared on her head. He leaned in pressing his lips against her ear. In a light but seductive whisper he spoke, "I know what you want." At this he brushed his lips across her ear make her shudder.

"Master... I…don't…but...please…me…" As she continued to stutter and panic Alucard burst out laughing dropping her hard to the floor.

"That was brilliant! If only you could have seen yourself! It was hysterical!" Seras just stared at the floor in shame.

"I can't believe you used me for your amusement just as you did Walter." Sadness was heavy in her voice.

"Come now, Police girl. It was just a bit of harmless fun."

"For you maybe." She mumbled. She couldn't help but take notice and feel a little disappointed at the fact he was back to calling her police girl. At that moment in time, the door at the end of the basement was slammed open as someone entered. Panting could be heard and suppressed growls.

"Master?" She looked at Alucard who looked back just as confused. The door to his room was bashed open revealing there newest threat. Walter.

"Alucard! I swore I would get you!" If Walter's vain popped out on his head as it would in an anime.

"Walter, just calm down. Let's just let things go and be mature adults." Alucard was trying to calm the elderly man down but with no success. Before he knew it Walter was charging for him while swinging the frying pan viciously. Just as he went to slam it in to his face Alucard grabbed Seras and ran through the wall. Walter's frying pan came down hard on the wall striking his coffin and causing the wood to split and break.

"Damn you Alucard!"

**Again thank you for all your reviews! I look foreword to reading more hopefully! I've managed to keep my goal of making every chapter at leas 1000 words (without the A/S's) I hope you enjoy this chapter and please feel free to give either :**

**Ideas for victim's**

**Ideas for what they can actually do to cause trouble.**

**Thanks again for reading! By for now!**


	4. Return of Walter & a new destination

**Hello again! Firstly I would like to apologise for my lack of updating as I have just started school again : ( but I'm going to try and put up another chapter after this in the next couple of days! I really hope you all enjoy this but I should warn you, I wrote it late and it was off the top of my head. But none the less, I hope you all enjoy it and remember, I love reading your reviews as they allow me to know how I am progressing. Also as some requests have been made I am going to include them, the first one I am going to do is requested by ****BlackWolfHellHound****followed by**** Anonymous Psychofan ****who has requested Integra. Well…Enjoy!**

Alucard and Seras were walking through the corridors of the Hellsing manor once more. For the first time since he could remember, Alucard was actually tired! Grunting and growling under his breath Alucard stopped abruptly. Only just noticing this as Seras wasn't paying attention, turned to see a look on his face she would never forget. His face looked long and white, his eyes frozen and the size of golf balls with his mouth slightly ajar. Trying to hide her giggling she walked back to the side of her master and stared at him with playful eyes. "Master, is something wrong?" with a sickly innocent tone to her voice she continued to just stare at him, but when he didn't reply she began to worry. "Master…" At that point Alucard, without moving his facial expression, slowly moved his arm upwards and pointed directly in front of him. Seras following the direction, in which he pointed, looked with fear at the person before them. Kicking herself for not sensing him sooner, Seras with the now same facial expression as her master, starred in pure horror at a very angry and rabid Walter.

"Alucard…" In a hissing sound, Walter with his eyes fixed on Alucard, starred in determination at his victim. Still not moving, Alucard just continued to gape at the raging Walter before him. In an instant, Walter began to charge forward! Seras taking not of this began to dive for Alucard to push him out of the way. As if in slow motion, Seras began to slowly move through the air towards Alucard. Her voice also slow and droning.

"AAAAAllllluuuuucccccaaaarrrrrrddddddd!!!!!!!!!" Still nowhere near him Seras continued to reach as Walter continued his run of death towards Alucard with the frying pan of doomed raised high above his head in anticipation. Still with a long way to go Seras continued to dive for Alucard who still stood there like a fish out of water.

_2 hours later….._

Finally reaching Alucard, Seras put all her force into pushing him to the side out of harms way from the insane Walter. Finally standing up, Seras looked to her master hoping for credit but received none. Alucard just looked from her to Walter and back again repeating the process.

"What…the…hell…happened……?" Asked a very dumb struck Alucard. Seras turned around slowly expecting a still raging Walter but instead found him collapsed on the floor in a heap. The sound of snoring could be heard and ruffling as he seemed to be shifting in to a more convenient position.

"He must have passed out from holding the damned frying pan above his head, poor Walter, he so very much wanted to hurt you and tear you limb from limb and use your blood to paint his newly "decorated" kitchen and send you to hell and-"

"I GET THE POINT!" Shouted Alucard. Seras stepping back a step looked apologetically at her master but received nothing in return. Instead, Alucard signature smirk appeared on his face as he walking towards Seras looked deeply into her eyes, not tearing his sight from them for a moment. He stopped in front of Seras and continued to gaze. Seras, not terrified of her master, shut her eyes tightly hoping not to be punished or have a repeat of last time, just looked at her fingers as she interlinked them together and sweating at the same time. Alucard reached out taking her hand and placing a gentle kiss on it and let it fall back to it's place by her side.

"Wha?"Asked Seras now holding the same look Alucard had once held just moments ago. Smirking Alucard continued to stare at her while breaking the silence.

"Thank you, Seras Victoria." He bowed his head slightly while she just blushed (if that's possible.) Taking her hand once more and leading her round the corner he spoke once more but in a much softer tone. "I want you to wait here a minute," pausing briefly to open a portal Alucard turned her to face him. "I have to take care of a very important issue, if I don't it could be fatal and be the end as we know it." He spoke with elegance and such seriousness that it scarred Seras, and, doing as she was told she waited patiently for her masters return.

Alucard walked back around the corner snickering. _This is the perfect night_ thought Alucard while reaching in to the shadows and pulling out a black balloon with his face on it. Walking up to Walter and placing the balloon close to his ear, slowly at first but then suddenly jabbed his nail into it making a loud POP ring through the old mans ears.

Seras was waiting patiently for Alucard to return when she heard a loud POP come from around the corner followed by shrieks of fear and annoyance from, what sounded like ; Walter? Soon after the sound of metal hitting walls and floor was heard as well as curse from both members was heard. Alucard darting from around the corner ran up to Seras and scooped her up bridal style and jumped through the portal.

Alucard and Seras appeared outside in the courtyard. Seras still afraid and unsure about what her master had done, held on to his red coat tightly. She began to get comfortable and snuggle in to his chest and sighed weakly. "Comfy, Police girl?" He asked in a low seductive tone. Nodding her head in response, Seras continued to allow her self to drift in to a pleasant state. Quickly changing his tone of voice Alucard in a sly tone replied in a slow manner "good…." And let his arms go limp sending Seras crashing to the floor.

Looking up with puppy dog eyes, Seras just stared at Alucard as tears began to swell up in her eyes. "Wh...Why...di-did you do…th-th-that?" She asked in between sobs.

"Because you're easy to tease and get enjoyment out off." He answered matter of fact. As he turned to walk away, he quickly jolted back as metal was swang in front of him just barley missing him. A heavy pant could be heard as a sweaty Walter appeared from the shadows.

"You have to be kidding, right!?" Shouted Alucard. "Screw this I have no time to waste with you!" Grabbing Seras's arm and dragging her across the floor to a portal he made, Alucard forced Seras to stand up.

"Master? Where does this lead to?" A heavy laugh could be heard over Walter's insistent ranting.

"Rome, we're going to go see our good friend the regenerator!" He said cackling as he pushed Seras through the portal and following her himself.

**Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter, if not let me know. Also I would like at least five new reviews before I update again just so I know people are enjoying this story! By the way Anonymous Psychofan I loved your story! I'm going to start your other one tomorrow! Well again I managed to make it 1000 words again as that is my minimum. Hope you enjoyed! Bye for now!**

**Also I would like to apologise for the double update last time, I didn't realise till late at night but I did correct it straight away lol! I'll make sure this one is up properly before I go to bed!**


	5. Attack the Paladin Dark secrets revealed

**Hello again! Thank you all so very much for the reviews! I was so happy I just had to post another chapter! Also just a quick thanks to the following people in inspired me to put this chapter up today. They are Matoska, Alucardga, Anonymous Psychofan, Sanguinary Tears, LittleMissPadfoot, thank you all for reviewing the previous chapter! Now please enjoy!**

Anderson was cleaning his bayonets and placing them back to his coat of infinite storage. While taking great pride in his cleaning and concentrating, Anderson felt a burning wound blast through his chest. As he stood up to look at what had shot him he stopped his motion as a snicker could be heard as well as a whimper. Hissing after knowing all to well who it was, Anderson said one simple name which would never let him rest until it was destroyed,

"Alucard…" though the laughing increased, Anderson prepared to take out one of his bayonets. Alucard seeing this shouted to Seras "NOW!" the command sending her jumping in to action. Seras grabbing for one sleeve while Alucard going for the other, both pulled hard ripping the coat of the paladin.

"What the!?!?!?!?" Anderson in shock turned quickly as Seras and Alucard ran through the door. Anderson racing after them screamed, "Bloody vampires! Get back here with my coat!" Reaching the outside after a much exaggerated run, Anderson stared straight ahead as he saw the two vampires standing side by side with his coat in Alucard's hands.

"Well, well, well, I would never have thought you to be so careless, regenerator!" He slithered out the name as if it would burn him if said in any other way. "I've always wanted to know what's in this little coat of yours, you always seem to have an infinite amount of those damn bayonets and I want to know how. I only wish that Police girl would enjoy this with me but she-"

"Hell yeah I do! I hate this man with a burning passion and want to know too!" Interrupting her master and snatching the coat from him, she shoved her hands in hoping to find out the truth behind this "mysterious" coat. Alucard smirking proudly as she continued throwing out bayonets looked to the paladin as if on guard. "What the hell is this in here for?" Asked Seras bringing out a toaster from the coat. Alucard with the biggest grin in history broke out laughing and…CRYING!

"I must say…That's…Brilliant! I've…never laughed…so hard in…my life…and for that…I must say…well done!" He said in between his laughs while clapping his hands sarcastically." Why do you have a toaster?" Asked Seras to the stern paladin.

"Well, in my business you never know when you'll get hungry." He replied blankly as if it was common sense. "but-" Before Seras could finish Anderson cut in. "Before you ask, the bread is a couple of metres then just to the right and forward another metre." After finishing Seras began to reach in but lost her footing and fell…in to the coat! Alucard seeing this with tears in his eyes reached for her ankle before she fell in completely. While pulling her out Alucard noticed she was bringing something with her.

"Police girl, what is-" his sentence was cut short when he saw a small monkey in a waist coat. Laughing once more with the previous tears joining the other ones. "Now that's even more hilarious! I thought the toaster was one thing but that!" He laughed harder pointing at the monkey.

"What's so funny? I...I get lonely…sometimes." Anderson said embarrassed and going bright red. He was now beginning to get infuriated. Seras continued to reach in hoping to find something brilliant.

After a couple of minutes, items were spread all over the floor surrounding Seras as Alucard held his hand against Andersons head stopping him from disturbing Seras's "adventure". Around her lay a four poster bed, Pogo stick, small elephant and penguin, the worlds biggest teddy collection, a mouldy pasty and a book about how to get a girl friend. Seras falling over in a pit of laughter dropped the coat and attempted to hold her sides. Seeing the opportunity, Anderson dived forward a grabbed the coat. He instantly put it on and drew out two bayonets. Alucard and Seras still crying on the floor in laughter froze at the sight. Anderson now feeling he had the upper hand, gripped the bayonets tighter and charged but before he had even stepped, his blade broke from the handle and clanged to the floor. "How could this be!? My bayonets…BROKEN?" his mouth gaped and his eyes wide as tears began to appear in his eyes. Alucard just looked at him with pride in his eyes.

"I'm impressed, Police girl, I didn't know you had it in you. Thos bayonets were an annoyance!" Smiling widely Seras looked to the floor as her cheeks went a light shade of pink. Giggling she bashfully replied "Thank you master."

"I mean it, this is a side of you I've never seen and…I like it." He replied with a silky tone to his words as they slid out of his voice like velvet. Forgetting Anderson was there they both spun around to face him as a wail was heard.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!?" He screeched while crying. Seras now wearing the smirk of her master looked at him with hatred and a sense of achievement. "Simple, I separated all the blades from the handle so no matter how many you have you can't use them on me or my master!" She shouted while pressing her arms tightly to her sides. Hearing her master chuckle behind her she felt an arm go around her shoulders. She looked up to find his gaze fixed on the paladin.

"You're very fortunate that this is our night off and I have things I want to do or else I'd be sending you to hell!" He laughed insanely after finishing. "But- don't think my little game is over, I assure you that the whole of the Vatican will hear about you dark secrets and so will Hellsing and her majesty. It's the least I can do really." He stopped his laughing when a loud CLANG was heard very close to him as Seras was hit hard to the floor. Reactions kicked in and turned on his heels with his gun raised ready to kill, but was let down when he saw Walter, with the frying pan of doom! "uh oh…" He hesitantly backed up picking Seras up by the arm but before he could say anything else Seras was reaching her limit.

"What the hell was that for!? I didn't do anything Alucard did, yet I get hit! What's with you! How dare you!" As she swag her first Walter stumbled back.

"I assure you I was aiming for Alucard but sadly my head is a little dizzy after the helicopter ride here, but never the less, I'm here to get revenge for my kitchen and well, HELL I'M GONNA GET IT!" He swung again but missed. Alucard grabbed Seras and quickly ran in the direction of Anderson who was still emotionally paralysed with what had happened and dreading what Alucard had threatened. He didn't notice Walter right behind them and swinging, without warning, Alucard jumped over Anderson taking Seras with him. Walter though, Walter continued to swing and struck Anderson right in the middle of his face. Anderson fell hard to the floor making a loud THUD as he made contact with the ground. "Oh dear…" was all Walter could say. As he scanned the area he soon discovered that Alucard and Seras we're gone…AGAIN! "GOD DAMMIT! SON OF A -" He stopped his tantrum when he noticed the bundle of items on the floor. "What are they doing there…" He wondered as her went back to the helicopter. All of the journey there he thought of brutal things to do to Alucard. "If it's the last thing I do, I'LL GET YOU ALUCARD!" He screamed to the night raising his fist, he also went to raise the hand with the frying pan of doom but…it was gone. "Where's that gone?".

Alucard and Seras appeared again in the Hellsing manor. Alucard looked at the wall and just sighed. "When will he understand, He'll never get me, it's not possible." Turning around he met the fiery gaze.

"How could you let him hit me? God damn you-" But before she could finish his stated a fact he thought was obvious. "He already has." Yet he didn't think about the consequences. Seras screamed with fury! Suddenly she pulled the frying pan of doom from behind her back and brought it high above her head and screamed once more charging for Alucard. As they ran, Seras attempting to kill Alucard, They ran continuously down the corridors which were leading to the leader of the Hellsing agency….

**Wow! Another chapter the next day! That's amazing for me! Please feel free to review or not as I am very happy with my progress! Again, please feel free to give some suggestions on situations or victims! This was requested by BlackWolfHellHound, Next person has been requested by Anonymous Psychofan. I really hope you all enjoyed this and I might put up another chapter tomorrow or not, I'm not sure yet but for now, bye!**


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